IS IT LOVE, LUST, OR LIMERENCE?

I’ve been seeing this guy and I seriously cannot get him out of my head. I think about him constantly, I replay every convo in my head and totally spiral when I don’t hear from him. I just feel like I’m on an emotional roller coaster because I like this guy so much. Is it crazy to say I might be in love already or is this something else??

Intense attraction mixed with spiraling thoughts usually point to one of the three “L’s” - Love, Lust or Limerence. Knowing the difference between the three may help you figure out where you stand emotionally. 

Limerence is that head-spinning obsession where you’re fully spiraling over someone who probably doesn’t even know you’re unraveling. It’s not just a cute crush, it’s like an emotional high laced with anxiety. You’re daydreaming about them 24/7, clinging to every text like it’s gospel, and your mood is basically a rollercoaster controlled by their behavior and engagement with you. Limerence can look like; constantly obsessing over them, panicking when they pull away, reading into breadcrumbs of attention such as likes on social media or what emojis they use, feeling on top of the world when they give you attention, or absolutely wrecked when they don’t. Half the time, you’re not even into them, you’re in love with the fantasy version your brain cooked up. It’s not romance, babe—it’s a delusion in lovey-dovey packaging. 

Lust is purely physical. It’s sexual attraction, chemistry, and that “I want to rip your clothes off” energy. It doesn’t necessarily mean there’s emotional connection or even compatibility. Lust can exist without emotional intimacy and it often fades once that initial spark burns out. The key signs of lust are constant spicy thoughts, prioritizing their looks or touch over conversation, little interest in deeper connection or commitment, and little to no interest in who they are or what they offer outside of the hookup. Basically, lust is fiery physical attraction and almost nothing else. It is a need to conquer someone, not commit to them.

Love is deep, stable, and rooted in reality. You know, patient, kind and all that. It’s not just butterflies. Love is trust, commitment, vulnerability, and choosing the other person even when it’s not all exciting or convenient. Love sees the flaws, the mess, the imperfections and stays anyway. Real love builds over time and comes with emotional security, not anxiety. Signs that its love are mutual respect and trust, open/honest communication, feeling safe and supported, choosing to work through conflict instead of avoiding, picturing a real future not just a romanticized highlight reel. 

To sum up the “L’s” - Lust is your body talking, Limerence is your ego and fantasy on overdrive and Love is your heart and head aligned, choosing someone for who they really are. Knowing which one you’re in can seriously help you stop chasing the wrong people and start building the right kind of connection. Hope this helped give you a clearer picture of where you stand emotionally in your situation. Good luck! xo